We all love the concept of teamwork when it comes to our favorite sports, but how about teamwork at home or at work. What can we do to let teamwork blossom and avoid micromanaging, when leading teams or trying to ‘lead’ families.
For instance, here in the U.S., we are gearing up for the Super Bowl. On Sunday afternoon, February 9, half of the country will gather around some TV set to watch Kansas City against the Philadelphia Eagles. As a true European, I personally love to watch soccer (some might say the real football), but on Sunday afternoon, I will be joining my neighbors to watch the Super Bowl. Last year, I watched it by myself at home (I know, it’s sad:). Despite its apparent violence, football is a strategic sport with specific rules, key positions, and a strong focus on yardage. Each team has four attempts to advance the ball 10 yards. Success hinges on strategic planning, precise execution, and adaptability during the game, not on micromanagement.
But teamwork isn’t just for sports. We need it in our professional and family lives too. We certainly need it from our top leaders.
The Parallels Between Professional and Family Teams
Families, much like teams, work together for a joint purpose. Whether it’s supporting children with homework, managing household chores, moving houses, or organizing birthday parties, families are constantly working as a team. However, we often focus on sports teams and forget about the importance of teamwork in our daily lives.
In my upcoming book on Parentship, I explore how the principles of teamwork apply to family units. I also discuss the common traps parents can fall into when they micromanage their family. Not surprisingly, the same traps apply to team leaders too.
Are You a Micromanager parent?
How can you tell? In simple words, in the business world, management is about maintaining the status quo and the present situation, while leadership is about visualizing the future and inspiring other people to see it too. If you find yourself constantly planning, organizing, controlling, and problem-solving, you might be leaning too much into a manager role. If you are considering how ecosystem changes might impact your family and team now and, in the future, you are leaning towards leadership.
7 Micromanagement Traps
Here are seven micromanagement traps that can kill the family-team spirit and that apply to the workplace as well:
Trap 1: Over-scheduling and lack of autonomy. Over-scheduling children reduces their autonomy and increases their stress; at work, your team members will stop using their judgment and in time will lack agency in how they approach their work.
Trap 2: Excessive monitoring of academic and work performance. Constantly checking grades or your employees’ timesheets and sales targets can make them feel like a ‘useful object.’
Trap 3: Involvement in conflict resolution. Intervening too quickly in conflicts in sibling quarrels is bad, but at work, it inhibits team members from developing interpersonal problem-solving skills. If you become good at solving conflicts, your agenda will get pretty full.
Trap 4: Dictating social choices. Controlling who your children associate with might seem like good parenting, but it hinders their development of trust and social skills. At work, your comments about other teams or co-workers will certainly have an impact on your team members. Silent gossip is the worst.
Trap 5: Constant correcting and feedback. How many people attribute their success to the constant feedback received from their bosses, and how many attribute it to the encouragement they received when their motivation was down? Too much correction reduces intrinsic motivation and makes people overly dependent on external approval.
Trap 6: Overprotection. Shielding children from all challenges prevents them from developing the courage to pull through. The same applies to new team members.
Trap 7: Micromanaging goals. Imposing rigid goals without flexibility decreases motivation and can lead to disengagement. If I push my son to play the piano every day, he will simply not do it, but if I let him choose the moment, he does it. It is not always the timing I prefer, but that is not my learning goal.
Ask yourself honestly: Am I falling into these traps? How would your children or team members answer this question for you?
It takes self-awareness and patience to stop micromanaging. May the change of seasons give us the courage and intuition to find ease and flow as parents and leaders.
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