Fear often holds us back in various aspects of life, from our professions and all the way to our family, romantic and friendship relationships. Yet, as the saying goes, “fortune favors the bold.”

I’ve always had a fear of heights, and it took me years to accept and face this fear.

Just three days ago, I encountered it once more. My family invited me to join them at Seattle’s Space Needle. Inspired by my daughter, who also struggles with acrophobia, I braved my fear. As my 8-year-old son suggested, I just had to refraine from looking down.

I managed to capture a family picture against the glass wall. The moment gave me a potent reminder : bravery isn’t the absence of fear, but our capability to confront it and take action.

We humans are born with only two inherent fears: the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. These instinctive fears trigger a natural reaction, often manifested in crying in babies when they hear unexpected, loud sounds.

As we grow, however, we start developing irrational fears, or phobias, targeted towards specific objects, situations, or activities. Be it arachnophobia (fear of spiders), acrophobia (fear of heights), ophidiophobia (fear of snakes), or glossophobia (fear of public speaking), these irrational fears can impede our personal and professional development.

Dr. Albert Ellis, the progenitor of Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy (REBT), expanded upon these emotional fear responses by identifying 12 irrational beliefs in the early 1950s.

Interestingly, despite these inborn fears, babies exhibit remarkable bravery. They explore their new, noisy world and learn to walk and talk within their first three years. This thought sparked a self-reflection: What daunting new skill have I learned in the past three years? Sure, I started piano lessons, but the stern teacher was quite intimidating. It seems children truly outshine us in courage.

As we grow older, we cultivate three fundamental fears: Fear of Death, Fear of Abandonment, and Fear of Failure. While fear of death can be valid when facing immediate danger, it’s primarily the fear of abandonment and failure that immobilizes us. These fears create a paralysis analysis, where we overthink our decisions instead of taking action.

During our 20s and 30s, driven by peer pressure and youthful adrenaline, we tend to take more risks. However, as we reach our 40s and 50s, the fear factor intensifies, largely because we have more at stake. Familial obligations and professional commitments can make us risk-averse, hindering our growth and evolution.

In our ever-volatile, uncertain, ambiguous, and rapidly changing world, resilience is critical. And we build this resilience by confronting our fears head-on, not evading them. As my fencing instructor in London once advised, “There is no defense without attack.”

So, how can we maintain resilience and a ‘fighting spirit’ until retirement, despite worries about our family?

The answer lies in reframing our mindset and altering limiting beliefs regarding familial vulnerabilities.

Consider your family as your ‘sword’ of protection when things get tough, rather than a hindrance. Difficult times often bring families closer together, promoting honesty and building resilience. Similarly, obstacles and limitations in a team can stimulate innovation and resourcefulness, provided the leaders acknowledge the challenges and trust the team’s capabilities.

Contrary to popular belief, healthy families and successful teams are not always cozy and warm. Instead, they offer support when confronting our deepest fears, encouraging us to step out of our comfort zone and fostering personal growth.

In my coaching practice, I’ve noticed that breakthroughs often occur when a coachee is ready to explore areas in their life and career that they’ve previously avoided due to fear. Acknowledging and naming these fears help make them manageable.

Ask yourself, are there areas in your life that you’re hesitant to explore due to fear of the unknown?

If you aim to lead a fulfilling life without regrets, consider the following tips:

1. Intercept your fear instead of facing it head-on.
2. Tame your fear using compassion and humor.
3. Cultivate confidence by assisting others with their fears.
4. Surround yourself with people who care about you but aren’t overly protective.
5. Incubate your ideas and share them with people you trust.

The path to a life of fulfilment often lies on the other side of fear. So, dare to be bold, for fortune indeed favors the bold.

‘Dare to dream and make it happen.’ – Steliana van de Rijt-Economu

Steliana Economu is the author of Mothers as Leaders and a leadership coach specialised in emotional and positive intelligence. If you liked this article and want to enjoy more of this type of resources do follow us on  mothersasleaders.com  

As a working parent, you may feel like you have to always choose between spending time for  your work or spending time for your family. That might lead to an inner chatter that might tell you that you have to choose between being a good leader at work and being a good parent at home.

What if I told you that getting enough sleep could help you excel in both areas?

If you are like me and you still want to pursue your own dreams and hobbies next to the job and kids, you could end-up working late and getting shorter nights. Five years ago when I was writing my first book I told to myself that I don’t need a 7-hr sleep, 5-6 are sufficient for me. I was fine, on the surface, but in reaulity, I couldn’t reach full mental rest.

The truth is, there is a powerful connection between sleep and leadership capabilities, and working parents who prioritize sleep are better equipped to lead their teams and their families. In this article, we’ll explore the science behind this connection and provide tips on how you can improve your sleep to become a better leader.

It’s no secret that sleep is crucial for overall health and well-being, but it also plays a significant role in leadership capabilities. Here’s why:

1. Enhanced decision-making: When we sleep, our brains consolidate memories and process information. This leads to enhanced cognitive function and better decision-making abilities. As a leader, making good decisions is essential, and getting enough sleep can help you do just that.
2. Improved creativity: Sleep also plays a crucial role in creative thinking. Studies have shown that sleep helps us make new connections between ideas and enhances our ability to solve problems. As a leader, creativity is essential for coming up with new ideas and solutions, and getting enough sleep can help you tap into your creative potential.
3. Better emotional regulation: Sleep deprivation can impair our emotional regulation, making it more challenging to manage stress and communicate effectively. As a leader, emotional regulation is crucial for maintaining a positive work environment and managing conflicts. Getting enough sleep can help you stay calm and level-headed in stressful situations.
4. Enhanced productivity: When we’re sleep-deprived, our productivity and performance suffer. Studies have shown that getting enough sleep leads to better concentration, attention, and productivity. As a leader, being productive and efficient is crucial for managing your workload and achieving your goals.

You may be wondering how you can improve your sleep to become a better leader. Here are some tips:

1. Make sleep a priority: The first step to improving your sleep is to make it a priority. Recognize the importance of sleep for your overall well-being and commit to getting enough sleep each night.
2. Establish a bedtime routine: Creating a relaxing bedtime routine can help signal to your body that it’s time to sleep. This may include activities such as reading a book, taking a warm bath, or practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing.
3. Create a sleep-conducive environment: Make sure your bedroom is a comfortable and relaxing space. This may include using blackout curtains, keeping the room cool, and minimizing noise and light.
4. Limit screen time before bed: The blue light emitted by screens can interfere with sleep. Try to limit your exposure to screens in the hours leading up to bedtime.
5. Practice good sleep hygiene: Good sleep hygiene includes habits such as going to bed and waking up at the same time each day, avoiding caffeine and alcohol, and exercising regularly.

As working parents, we have a lot on our plate, but let’s not let sleep fall by the wayside.Prioritizing sleep can have a powerful impact on your leadership capabilities both at work and at home.

By making sleep a priority, establishing a bedtime routine, creating a sleep-conducive environment, limiting screen time, and practicing good sleep hygiene, you can improve your sleep and become a better leader.

The next time you’re debating between pulling an all-nighter or getting some shut-eye, remember that a good night’s sleep could be the key to unlocking your full leadership potential. Not to mention that the benefits of a good-night sleep for avoiding costy human-errors.

‘Tired people, make stupid mistakes.’ (the true words  of Safety worker)

 

P.S: If you want to find out more ways how to set Sleep as a priority in your life, join our Linkedin Live on May 12, 2023, 8.00 CST. Press attend and you will get a calendar reminder.

Steliana Economu is the author of Mothers as Leaders and a leadership coach specialised in emotional and positive intelligence(PQ and EQ). If you liked this article and want to enjoy more of this type of resources do follow us on  mothersasleaders.com  

There is no real-family without some healthy argument taking place at some point. I grew-up in a family where being vocal was considered a virtue.

Few days ago I had to review all the team coaching engagements I completed in the last fiveyears. I had to describe them briefly for the ICF team coaching accreditation. One insight emerged: most senior leadership teams I  worked with struggled with fostering constructive conflict. The team dialogue was too polite  and nice and without discussed disagreements  the innovation suffered.

According to Patrick Lencioni, the lack of conflict is one of the five dysfunctions of the team and most of the time is linked to trust and pshycological safety. Which teams score high on trust and pshycological safety: real-families.Perhaps families like mine or yours.

What can leadership teams learn from real-families? 

Executive leadership teams play a crucial role in the success of any organization. As a leader, you have the power to shape the culture, values, and behavior of your organization, and to create a work environment that promotes growth, collaboration, and innovation. Most importantly you can have a real impact on people’s lives. Incorporating real-family values into the way you develop your executive leadership team can have a profound impact not only on  their effectiveness and performance but also on their well-being and their family well-being.

Real-family values  promote the well-being and happiness of the family through values such as trust, respect, empathy, communication, fun, personal-growth and collaboration.

These values are not only essential for building strong and healthy families, but they are also critical for developing high-performing and sustainable executive leadership teams.

Here is why I believe so:

Real-family values promote trust and psychological safety

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, whether it’s within a family or an executive team. When team members feel safe and trusted, they are more likely to be open, honest, and vulnerable with each other. This, in turn, creates a culture of psychological safety, where team members feel comfortable taking risks, making mistakes, and learning from each other.

Real-family values foster empathy and understanding

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it’s a critical skill for effective leadership. When leaders and team members can empathize with each other, they can better understand each other’s perspectives, needs, and motivations. This can lead to better communication, collaboration, and conflict resolution.

Real-family values encourage communication and feedback

Communication is the lifeblood of any successful team, and it’s essential for building trust, resolving conflicts, and achieving shared goals. When team members communicate openly and honestly with each other, they can provide feedback, share ideas, and make decisions collaboratively. This can lead to better alignment, accountability, and performance.

When I say ‘real-families’ I don’t mean perfect families. Families are made of humans and not  compliant employees or polite direct-reports. In good days you might love your family and, in bad days you might complain about communication, listening and empathy. Still, you keep trusting them.

You know a value is real when you see people giving each-other feedback on it, just as it happens in real-families,  not when you see it framed on the company corridors.

There are  three things  you could do to increase the level of trust and psychological safety in your leadership team.

1. Build trust early  – Share where were you born? How many siblings you had? Which one was you? How was a usual day in your family?)
2. Share personal fears, aspirations and values – The most senior leader could start
3. Normalise giving feedback –  You get feedback often from parents or siblings for the smallest things. Start small, do it often and it will become a team norm

‘Leadership is about making other better as a result of your presence, and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.’ (S. Sandberg)

Steliana Economu is the author of Mothers as Leaders and a leadership coach specialised in emotional and positive intelligence(PQ and EQ). If you liked this article and want to enjoy more of this type of resources do follow us mothersasleaders.com

There are only 10 days left in the year! As scary as it might seem it is time to close down your to-do-list and to start thinking about the year that past and the one ahead. Christmas shopping is waiting.You might even consider home-friendly activities, like cooking or baking. 

I don’t know about you, but for me winding down ahead of Christmas is not easy.The most sensible thing  would be to block my last week to reflect on: How did my year go?  What was I hoping for and what happened? Did I achieve any of my objectives? What did the past year teach me that I can take forward in 2023?

In this piece I would like to demystify the idealistic vision of the End-of- year reflections. Working-mothers do not have time to reflect ahead of the Christmas break, there is a frenzy of requests coming from all sides. It is the busiest period of the year and…to be fair, all I want for Christmas is…SLEEP.

What can you do to allow your Brain and Body to Wind down and not wind-up before Christmas?

First of all, have a plan with what is mandatory to be completed by the end-of- the-year and what can be picked up later? Make that list really short, to avoid going to the end-year holiday exhausted.

Secondly, make a mental commitment to set time aside to review the previous year and strategize over the new year. You might need as little as an hour and as much as a day if you lead a bigger team and organizations.

Thirdly, you got to actually use that time to review & strategizing time purposely, by splitting your time in 3 huge buckets:

1. Start by giving yourself credit for past achievements in the last year.

• What new practices did you implement?
• What positive feedback did you receive?
• What did your team do well and how did you add value?
• What about family achievements? Start by giving yourself credit for past achievements in the last year.

2. Be honest

• What were some of the disappointments?
• What were the tough moments?
• What feedback did you receive that you need to improve on?
• What about family …?

3. Dream big

• If you had a magic wand and you could only choose one Goal: what would you like to get from the new year?
• What would need to happen for you to feel fully fulfilled at the end of the next year?
• What skills would you like to learn?
• What passions would you like to pursue?
• What difference would you like to make to your clients, team, family, community?

And, to conclude your personal strategizing session, write up a Vision statement for the next year related to your Dream big, magic wand goal. That vision can be a statement or simply one word. What would be one word that you want to guide your 2023 actions. My 2022 word was Beauty.

We recently used this 3-steps approach in our last Mothers as Leaders, Leader Lab group coaching session and after about 90 minutes, all of us came out with a hopeful personal outlook towards 2023 and… some meaty goals.

Steliana Economu is the author of Mothers as Leaders and a leadership coach specialised in emotional and positive intelligence( PQ and EQ). If you liked this article and want to enjoy more of this type of resources do follow mothersasleaders.com