Last week, it was my son’s first week at school. I waved goodbye hoping he will cry asking me to stay longer, but he didn’t. He was ready for it and actually looking forward to it with excitement.
I, on the other hand, wasn’t ready to let go. I was afraid because my little baby boy entered into the big world of schedules and societal expectations.
For the past 4 years, every time I was awake at night because of him I would comfort myself with the thought that he will grow up eventually. What I forgot was that when he grows up, he will also move on from the baby cuddles to the ‘I am a big boy now, mummy’ phase.
‘Steliana, letting go is letting come’ someone in my coaching class told me earlier this year. I read about Otto Sharmer’s theory U and ‘Presencing’ but I guess I didn’t really understand it until this last week. As adults we find it difficult to let go of the old self and that stops us to see the new opportunities around the corner. This time the scary thing was the idea of me suddenly becoming a mother of two school-age kids instead of a mother of toddlers. Some other times it is about letting go the old ways of doing things at my job or letting go a certain status. This week I learned an important lesson from my four-year old son who just moved on to the next phase of his life without complaints and drama.
I am recounting the memories of a year with a lot of ups and downs. Perhaps some of you had the same because that’s what life is: unpredictable and surprising.
Life is what happens to you, while you are busy making other plans. (J.Lennon)